Have you ever been told “learn from people’s mistakes”? There’ll always be someone telling you this now and then. And if you don’t take note of it and end up making the same mistake, dozens of told-you-so’s are going to rain down on you.
We humans were born to make mistakes and learn from them, not to fake perfection. Mistakes are a part of human being. The life given to us comes with a full liberty to make mistakes. After all, freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes. The privilege that we don’t get is to repeat those mistakes. We all make mistakes, it’s how we come back from those mistakes that matters. Our mistakes don’t define us, but how we deal with them, what we learn from them and how we apply the lesson to our lives.
“To make mistakes is human, to stumble is commonplace, to be able to laugh at yourself is maturity.”
Now that making mistakes is somehow justified, there are two things that matter the most after you’ve made a mistake: owning your mistakes & learning from them. If you make a mistake, show at least enough courage and compassion to own your mistake. More people would be learning from their mistakes if they weren’t busy denying them at first place. Your mistake might not hurt the people around you as much as your denying it hurts. If you did it, own it and deal with the consequences. Don’t add insult to the injury by not owning your mistakes or by repeating them. What people don’t get is, mistakes are made to learn from them not to repeat them. Repeating them may just ruin everything. Don’t push people far over the edge because eventually they’ll become tired, even the people who love you. Every mistake almost always ignites some consequences, face them and make up for your mistakes. If there weren’t any consequences, that doesn’t mean what you did or said wasn’t really bad. You never know how bad it hurt from outside just like you can’t judge an ocean’s depth from the shore.
When it is so hard for us to learn from our own mistakes, how can we expect to learn from people’s mistakes. The truth is we DON’T learn from people’s mistakes. We may make a deep observation of them, make notes to ourselves to not land in such situations and maybe also take every possible caution to avoid them. But once we land in the same scenario, we almost never apply all those advises and all those thoughts-to-self at that time. We find excuses for ourselves and how somehow our situation is different from the others. At last, we end up making the same mistakes, continuing the pattern.
The reality is that when someone else makes a mistake, only he’ll know the agony of facing its consequences. No one else will, the way he does. Once we suffer some sort of emotional or psychological stress, we’ll remember for life the situation that led to it. But when you are just the audience you might not relate to it that deeply, so you won’t learn your lesson. Maybe, that’s just how we are cut out to be. 🙂
One can always try to learn from people’s old mistakes and make some new ones. As we do have the permission to make mistakes, but not to repeat them. 🙂
Constant change, the world we live in is all about it. You change the way you dress according to the latest fashion. You change your old cellphone with a latest phone because it has more features or only because you wanted to. Its a dynamic world that we live in. But when given the question like for example ‘you guys used to be best friends, now you don’t even talk to each other’ and almost all the times the answer is ‘he/she changed’ or ‘they’ve become a different person’.
Yes, that’s where I’m getting to. We want change in everything around us now or then. But when the people around us change, we just can’t accept it. We don’t give people the freedom of change.
As a human being and a person we have evolved since our time started. In my view, we all change because our life changes from time to time. Its nothing surprising. Ask yourself. Are you the very same person you were 5 years back? . The answer would be ‘no’. You have evolved in your emotions, in your reactions & in how you handle people. This is necessary for the survival. As you grow up, you learn the bitter truths of life. You start accepting things that you once denied. You learn that you can’t always speak your mind. You can’t always have things your way.
Why we can’t accept it?
Change is something to which not everyone adjusts well. As much as this change is important, people will still have a hard time accepting it. That’s because we always want the people to stay just the way we met them. We have a hard time letting go of the picture that we made in our mind of that person, the first time when we got to know them. The change in them threatens us and leaves us insecure that it’ll drift them away from us. Sometimes this change does drift people away but at other times it doesn’t. Either way we have to accept it.
Why we should accept it?
When we ourselves don’t stay the same, why do we expect the people in our lives to stay the same. Isn’t it ironic? We all evolve, all of us struggle through life. You may not see it but everyone’s busy fighting their own fight, big or small. Why do we always forget that every fight that we fight in life, leaves a scar on our souls and its meant to stay there. Either you can keep mocking the person about their ugly scar or just accept it the way it is. You can’t blame the person for being a certain way they’re. Everything that happens in our life changes us in a certain way. The change can be good or bad. That depends on how they let the stimuli of change effect them. So, the statement ‘you know, you’ve changed.. You’re not the same person anymore’ is a Hippocratic statement in itself. We should give people liberty to change.
There are never enough justifications for change, so don’t ask for them.
Though not easy, let the people change & accept it. Don’t try to bring back the older version of them. Don’t even expect. Don’t hurt yourself more in the process of change. That’s how life works. Just let go of what you remember of them or the memory of who they were will haunt you down every time.
Change and let people change. Let life process continue.
So in your view, should we give people the liberty to change? how many people you knew changed and grew apart? How hard was it to let go of how you used to know them?